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Generally, we’re here on this blog to let you know about data safety. Today, we’re here to give you a gentle reminder of personal safety.

We take technology so much for granted that it’s hard to imagine someone who hasn’t, for instance, gotten at least halfway into the shower while plugged into an iPod. Not. a. good. idea. Today, Gawker blogger Adrian Chen got a not-so-gentle reminder that basic precautions around electricity can go a long way towards, say, preventing you from getting struck by lightning in your own bedroom.

Like he was.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw a thin strip of white flash in the window that looks onto an alley behind my apartment—it was so thin it might have been traveling down a wire. Suddenly my left arm shot off the keyboard, pulsing with the same weird combination of numbness and pain you feel after grabbing an electric fence, if you’ve ever been dumb enough to do that. It was enough to shoot me to my feet, and I stood there for a few seconds wondering what had just happened. The first thing I did after realizing I had been hit by lightning was scream something along the lines of: “HOLY FUCKING SHIT I WAS JUST HIT BY FUCKING LIGHTNING WHAT THE FUCK.” The next thing I did was check to see if lightning strikes were covered under Applecare.

Just like a blogger. Typical.

So, everyone, go buy a good surge protector! And if you already have a surge protector but are lazy like me and don’t plug your laptop into it because it’s all the way under your desk, while there’s a perfectly fine outlet right there on the wall, and what the hell does a surge protector even do? You probably deserve to be struck by lightning.

…

(P.S. Do not ask if I have super powers. Lightning strike victims hate when you ask us that.)

Noted. So, boys and girls, what did you learn from today’s lesson? That’s right: Steve Jobs wants you to protect his precious products properly, and if you fail to do that, he’ll call down thunder and lighting upon you.

Those would be this woman’s hands.

I didn’t get the point of the iPad at first; in many ways I still don’t. It just feels like the Segway, something about which we’re all supposed to become uncontrollably excited, but which isn’t game-changing for anyone.

iPhad convert your iphone into an ipad

I was thinking too small: the iPad is game-changing for those with visual impairments. People like the 100-year-old Virginia, who had never used a computer before. Watch and see the Digital Revolution in action.

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Apple giveth and Apple taketh away

Oh, how I wish I wasn’t writing this from experience.

But I am.

This post; this one right here. This post, which is about how you iPhone addicts out there should always be sure to register with the websites associated with your apps, so that if (GAWD forbid) the JesusPhone gets raptured or falls into a toilet or whatever, you’ve got a backup of all the data that you’ve entered into it, a backup you can access and continue to use even without your Holy Handset.

Not all apps come with an associated website, but most fitness apps, personal databases like Contact lists, food logs and timekeepers do. And I won’t even mention, or yeah, maybe I will, the multiple iPhone locator apps that you should have installed. The thing comes with a GPS built-in. Use it.

I’m not gonna say it again, not gonna embellish it: just go, and register, and synch, and relax.

Because the most important part of your Jesusphone isn’t the black box: it’s your irreplaceable data.

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Hammer Time!

Ah, there’s nothing like a good metaphor! Without metaphors, we’d be as lost as…well, we’d be just plain lost, wouldn’t we? We couldn’t be fancy-lost if we tried, not without metaphors. And here’s a killer metaphor:

Your data is like the precious contents of an exotic shark tank in Dubai (no, it really is, bear with me here): without its proper support and maintenance, it can leak away so slowly you don’t even notice until it’s too late, to the point where it reaches a critical failure and comes crashing to the ground all at once in a massive and irreparable cascade that will cost WELL over Goliath’s arm and leg to fix. For example:

A friend of mine was once responsible for the computer systems of the government a small, here-nameless Asian country. He insisted his onsite team install duplicate systems in a separate physical location to ensure that in case of emergency they could continue to function, and they did so and reported it back to him. Then there was an earthquake.

And the mainframe computer housing the alpha of the government’s systems fell through the floor onto the mainframe directly below it, which was the one housing the emergency backup systems.

Offsite. It’s a very important word when it comes to backups. And no, the room immediately below is not off enough.

Your backups should not only be in a physically different location, they should if at all possible be on a completely independent system, so that no matter what virus, worm, trojan or act of Gob may occur, you can be up and running with minimal if any downtime.  Now, if you’re a Dubaious shark keeper, this is somewhat of a challenging proposition. If, however, you’re a webmaster, writer, photographer, filmmaker, or other creator or packager of information in any form, it’s not so hard at all. In fact, we’re here to make it easy.

Trust your precious data to a specialist who’ll make sure it’s there when you need it and not out there duplicating your content, diluting your audience, and weakening your brand when you don’t.

Vancouver artist and photographer Sharon Burns recently showed her latest works at the Interurban Gallery downtown at Hastings and Carrall streets. She’s previously exhibited at public and private galleries from the Vancouver Art Gallery to the Gallery Gachet, and her work is both critically respected and popular.

And now, it’s gone.

If you saw the show at the Interurban, congratulations; you saw the only extant record of three years of work. Here’s how it happened:

Nobody likes moving house much, and moving house single-handedly they like even less. Burns had to move house, didn’t have any friends free that night, and decided, since it was a small job, to dispense with a moving company and hire some freelance labour. All appeared to go well, and she’d been settled into her new apartment several months when she had occasion to double-check her photo-storage hard drive for an image for the upcoming show.

You know what happened then.

The loss of a hard drive, whether due to “the confusion of moving” or to some more sinister cause, is always a blow, but if you’ve got a backup of your data somewhere else, it’s a surmountable blow. In contrast to the common assumption, online data storage can often be more secure than offline storage, and more flexible as well. Don’t get caught out like this, losing three years of work. But then, if you’re reading this blog, you probably know you’ve got some safety options; use them!